On slickness, for Jenna

So, I'm on the phone with Jenna during my lunch hour, hanging out in my office. I'm kicked back in my chair. Maxing. Relaxing, even. During this upward tilt, I notice that the recessed portion of the ceiling is COVERED in spider webs. And not just spider webs, but DUSTY spider webs. Eww.

In my efforts to continually improve upon my own genius, I imagine the ways in which I can undo those dusty spider webs, despite the 14 foot ceiling in my office. Necessity is the mother of invention, and aha! I have a yard stick! It's not long enough, but ahoy! I have an umbrella. So I affix with transparent tape the last six inches of the yard stick to the pointed end of the umbrella. A little wobbly, but it will work. It even has a handle! To the other end of the yard stick (the ceiling end) I ball up a deliciously wasteful ball of transparent tape and begin to swing wildly at the dusty jungle vines hanging from above. Whoops! I surge forward and *stick* goes the ball, crusty in its gray furry coating, and now securely lodged fourteen feet above me, spider web tentacles hanging.

Crap. What do I do with a wobbly reacher stick thing that's almost falling apart and a ball of tape high above my head. Could this ball stuck to the ceiling really bother me less than if I had just left the frakking thing alone to begin with?!

But aha! I super-double affix yet another tape ball to the end, reinforce the six inch connector portion between the umbrella and the yard stick with masking tape, and with some good work and a little leverage, I remove the whole entire thing from its ceiling perch.

Now, that's slick, folks.