Bangor? I don't even know her!

We have arrived for our first night in lovely Bangor, ME. The whole visit to lovely Bangor, ME will be less than nine hours, which is fine, because there's no way we could see all of the thriving metropolis that is Bangor, ME in less than three days, at least.

We're out the door to press on in 3...2...1...

Peace.

Flower Power

When I was a kid my grandmother’s house was my safe space. It was there that I learned to explore my creativity and open my heart to whatever ideas and thoughts I had, or dared to have. Gram was like that little packet of nutrients you put in cut flowers when you get them: I was already a bloom, but she helped me be stronger, more vibrant, vital, and fortified. She nourished my whole being, and I think often about how she would help me solve a problem if I was able to ask her for advice now.

After Tara and I were married almost a year ago, I started learning about my spiritual life in a new way. The day we were married was a day that changed me forever. Yes, because I entered into this partnership with an amazing woman who supports me, loves me, and nurtures me like no other, but also because I gleaned a new relationship with God that day. In the middle of the outdoors, standing in a brilliant, blooming garden, with our closest family and friends present, the sun shining down more beautifully than I had ever imagined, I was reborn.

Bogged down with all of the legal and state issues of the year before, I was beginning to feel run down with all the resulting pain and anger from the ongoing argument. Tara and I watched, every night sometimes, people debate the validity of our existence, our morality, and our love. Senators, Representatives, and even Presidents (gasp!) would say some of the most cruel and most horrible things I’ve ever heard, and all in the name of God. And despite my Roman Catholic upbringing, I have yet to see evidence that God wants us to hate anyone.

It was that day, in that garden, that I felt God’s presence truly with me. It was a feeling that the most powerful thing in the entire world was God’s grace bringing that group of people together and harnessing the awesome power that comes from collective love. Throughout the ceremony I was overwhelmed and started to cry. Part of me was crying because I was moved by the words I said to make this awesome commitment to my love. The other part was the feeling of being so deeply moved, fortified, and nourished by Gods love at that exact moment that I could no longer hold it together. God brought these people to my life. God strengthened us to persevere through the mangling of Christ’s teachings. God stands allied with love, not with hatred.

The minister who married us recently left the chapel where we worshipped with her. She has been called to preach at a huge old church about 7 miles from where we live, and we will follow her there to worship. This building has loads of deferred maintenance, paint peeling and falling from the ceiling, and lots of cleanup. At base, it is a stunning 200 year old church which needs some love and care. The waning congregation of only 15 people needs some revitalization. In the two months since Andrea was named pastor, the congregation has doubled, the ceiling is in the process of being repainted (with LOADS of volunteers and donations to make it possible), and we have forged new relationships between the newcomers and the folks who have attended church there their entire lives. In this transformation, I have found a new safe space in the church and with Rev. Andrea. I have learned to question and think and explore. I have learned that believing in God means asking questions, and that often those questions don’t have answers.

It is not in the hateful words other spew that is God’s word. It is in the work that we are doing, the dirt we are getting under our nails, the effort it takes to vacuum every pew in 100 degree weather, that is where God’s word and work is. That is where you will see the reflection of God’s good will. God IS love. God is LOVE.

Image: Oh, Canada, here we come!

Courtesy of www.novascotia.com

I'm against dirty!

Tara and I have made the switch in our household to using mostly earth-friendly, biodegradble products. We are trying to eat organic and/or local when we can, and recycling like banshees. Well, we've always been really good recyclers, but...do banshees recycle? I'm not sure. But if they did, I bet you they would be great at it!

Our first foray into earth friendly home products was Seventh Generation laundry detergent scented with natural citrus oils. It did a great job, but is very expensive. We got ours on half off sale! It lasts forever, and cleans clothes better than any product I've used before. AND, it does not pollute the environment one bit.

Since that ran out, we decided to try the next candidate: Method Home. We also purchased biodegrading bathroom wipes, dish soap, and hand soap. I have never felt more enthusiast:ic about a product in my entire life. Seriously. Well, maybe when O.B. started making applicator tampons, but other than that, not really. (O.B. has since STOPPED MAKING THEM.) Our bathroom has never been cleaner, more cucumber smelling, or had less residue ever. The dish soap we purchased two months ago is still 3/4 full. The laundry soap, fabric softener, and dryer sheets leave our clothes smelling so fresh Tara and I sit and inhale their warm goodness when they come out of the shower. And the best news: it's all Earth friendly! And not that expensive.

(Insert motion of me stepping on soapbox.)

Did you know:

If every household in the U.S. replaced just one bottle of 100 oz. ultra petroleum-based liquid laundry detergent with 100 oz. vegetable based product, we could save 220,000 barrels of oil, enough to heat and cool 13,000 U.S. homes for a year.

Every year over 400 million gallons of water are wasted to dilute laundry detergents. More water means more plastic wasted on giant plastic bottles that eventually find their way to landfills. At least, how much would you give NOT to have to lug that unwieldy 150 oz. laundry detergent bottle from the store to your house?

There are a few very simple things we can do to make our imprint on the earth a little less severe. You can find Seventh Generation in many more grocery stores and in specialty stores. Target carries the full Method Home line in such succulent scents at Magnolia, Cucumber, Pink Grapefruit, and Pomegranate. It’s important that you at least check it out. After all, you are against dirty, aren’t you?

Image: Gay Head

Brain Twin

Like Sarah, I often play over and over in head what I was doing this time last year, last month, yesterday. It's particularly bad when I've just gotten back from vacation, beause I the first week back at work is usually filled with, "A day ago I was sitting on the beach," or "Three days ago I slept until 10 am." I usually get jealous of myself. Is that possible? Don't wish away your days, lady.

A year ago I had just finished a week-long babysitting adventure with my dear Harrison. It was during this visit that Sarah and Doug found out about his cyst, and all the suspicions about cranial surgery came true. We were all worried, scared, and tearful, and thank our beautiful God that everything was resolved. After many tears and loads and loads (and loads) of worrying, he is the most super-wonderful-magnificent 15 month old to walk (very quickly and sometimes into things) the Earth. I have love in my heart for that boy like I never could have imagined having for anyone.

Five years ago, I had just finished a 3,500 mile drive cross-country with my father. I moved all the shit I could carry in my little hoopty Neon and averaged about 600 miles a day, cruising through all parts of the midwest, Rockies states, and the Pacific Northwest. I was starting a new part of my life in Oregon, and was in for more intense life-lessons that I could have imagined. I got to know my father more during that journey that I ever expected, and wouldn't replace any of those memories with him for the world. I learned all about his days in the Army, how he met mom, why he named me Val, and many other random bits of information that are crammed into his oversized brain.

Next week, Tara and I will celebrate our one year anniversary of being married. Everyone always remarks that it must feel funny to be married only a year, but in reality, we are cruising smoothly through our sixth year together. True this year has involved some new adventures for us, but really it's just one more year of learning more about each other, living together, and making our lives together. The only thing I regret about anything in the last year with Tara is that I can't do it all over again.

Three years ago (plus a couple of months) I came out to my parents. Three years ago we met Gaylen. Three years ago we moved in together. Four years ago I adopted Bob. Next year, I will celebrate (?) my ten year high school reunion.

I am blown away to think about how much my life has changed in the last year, nevermind the last ten years. I am blown away by the ways in which I have seen Jenna change in the last three years, to see Sarah become a mother, to see my mother and father fortify their relationship as newly alone partners. I am patient and eager to see how much things will change in the coming years, to see Harrison grow older, to see what Tara's and my children will look like, to see where we will make a home.

I am anxious, but eager and patient -- knowing that ten years ago, I couldn't have imagine this charmed life that I lead now.

Image: One Year Ago

bubs

Bone

In solidarity with me ole wifey Tara I thought I’d post about the absolute nothingness that is my life right now. Work is quiet for me. There’s nothing to do in our house (see Tara’s post) and there is no drama. In short, I am blissfully and contendedly perfect right now. It feels good to rest, be purposeful, put in some good time at the church helping to fix it up, and otherwise plan for a nice vacation. The whirlwind trip to PDX is over. The Family Reunion is over. I don’t travel for work again until August 11 (Yeehaw Texas here I come AGAIN!), and the only looming event is the wedding reception in October.

And because I’ve been the Gay Alarmist for the past month, I thought I’d spare you from my thoughts on Same Sex America. Worth seeing, definitely, but upsetting and grounding, for sure. Here’s to defeating the homophobes in October. Because, you know, I’m really only worth about 86% of what everyone else is worth. Jesus said so in the Bible. Look it up.

Image: Pink

Damn, I love summer.