Like Sarah, I often play over and over in head what I was doing this time last year, last month, yesterday. It's particularly bad when I've just gotten back from vacation, beause I the first week back at work is usually filled with, "A day ago I was sitting on the beach," or "Three days ago I slept until 10 am." I usually get jealous of myself. Is that possible? Don't wish away your days, lady.
A year ago I had just finished a week-long babysitting adventure with my dear Harrison. It was during this visit that Sarah and Doug found out about his cyst, and all the suspicions about cranial surgery came true. We were all worried, scared, and tearful, and thank our beautiful God that everything was resolved. After many tears and loads and loads (and loads) of worrying, he is the most super-wonderful-magnificent 15 month old to walk (very quickly and sometimes into things) the Earth. I have love in my heart for that boy like I never could have imagined having for anyone.
Five years ago, I had just finished a 3,500 mile drive cross-country with my father. I moved all the shit I could carry in my little hoopty Neon and averaged about 600 miles a day, cruising through all parts of the midwest, Rockies states, and the Pacific Northwest. I was starting a new part of my life in Oregon, and was in for more intense life-lessons that I could have imagined. I got to know my father more during that journey that I ever expected, and wouldn't replace any of those memories with him for the world. I learned all about his days in the Army, how he met mom, why he named me Val, and many other random bits of information that are crammed into his oversized brain.
Next week, Tara and I will celebrate our one year anniversary of being married. Everyone always remarks that it must feel funny to be married only a year, but in reality, we are cruising smoothly through our sixth year together. True this year has involved some new adventures for us, but really it's just one more year of learning more about each other, living together, and making our lives together. The only thing I regret about anything in the last year with Tara is that I can't do it all over again.
Three years ago (plus a couple of months) I came out to my parents. Three years ago we met Gaylen. Three years ago we moved in together. Four years ago I adopted Bob. Next year, I will celebrate (?) my ten year high school reunion.
I am blown away to think about how much my life has changed in the last year, nevermind the last ten years. I am blown away by the ways in which I have seen Jenna change in the last three years, to see Sarah become a mother, to see my mother and father fortify their relationship as newly alone partners. I am patient and eager to see how much things will change in the coming years, to see Harrison grow older, to see what Tara's and my children will look like, to see where we will make a home.
I am anxious, but eager and patient -- knowing that ten years ago, I couldn't have imagine this charmed life that I lead now.
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