My mother, the crazypants

So, my parents are coming this weekend. They both have Monday off and decided to take a trip, and since they haven't been here since the wedding, since JULY, they decided to make the trip here.

There are some factors to consider. (1) my uncle, his wife, and their daughter just moved to within an hour of our house and (2) there has not been a single long weekend in nine months* that my mother has not been in Rochester. You see Rochester is where my sister lives, and Rochester is where my brother in law lives, and therefore, Rochester is where The Golden Boy of all Golden Boys lives.

*Golden Boy is almost precisely nine months old.

Don't get me wrong. My mother loves me and my sister and my brother in law and my wife and my father and everyone else. She loves us well, and she has been an amazing mother and has been well-accomplished in her life. HOWEVER, nothing that has ever crossed her path has been so magnetizing as Golden Boy. This means the obvious: she forgets about her children, she takes SICK DAYS from work to visit him (gasp!), and she takes every opportunity to drive my sister and brotherinlaw insane by visiting ALL THE TIME. Sister has taken to calling her, "Grandmonster."

So on this fancy little trip my parents are taking, they intend to arrive at our house Friday evening. Saturday we'll travel together a little further and visit with my uncle. On Sunday, they will turn around and head home, leaving early enough to make it to Golden Boy's palace before dark to spend the night.

I appreciate that he brings them great joy and love, but lordy people, I drove home ELEVEN times last year. You'd think they could stay that one extra day to visit with us. Maybe when they get here, there will be a sign on the door that says, "Welcome to the Hotel Milk and Honey" and I'll ask them for sixty bucks on their way out.