Happy Birthday

I'm not a selfish type, but I've always thought my birthday was about me. It is a day for me, and others, to celebrate myself, my life, how wonderful I am, etc. It's a day for me to get presents, phone calls, cake, cards, candles to blow out. You know, all of it.

Birthdays have always been a big deal in our family. We've always had kids over for parties, trips to Grandma's house, and even now that S and I don't live at home anymore, our parents still visit in February and October to mark our special days. I remember when Hieu came to the US the day before her birthday, and we had a cake for her to celebrate. It was a crash course in our family traditions, a baptism. At work I introduced and we have since adopted the Birthday-person-cuts-the-cake-and-the-person-whose-birthday-is-next-takes-it-out ritual, one that I think was created by my father.

Today is Harrison's birthday. He is one, or will be at 10:34 pm tonight. Seeing him born was a life-changing experience, and watching him grow up and everything that comes with that has been the greatest gift I've ever gotten. He is amazing, and full of love.

This weekend, we'll all gather at Sarah's house for his first birthday party, and while I've been contemplating gifts and expect that other family members will probably go a little buck-wild, I realize that this birthday is actually not as much about him only as I thought. Yes, it is a celebration of his life, his age, his milestones. But I'm realizing, through my perspective of watching Sarah and Doug through Harrison's first year, that this year is a celebration of them, as Harrison's parents.

Sarah and Doug have changed immeasurably over the past year. They are parents now, and that has added to their complicated and fascinating dimensions. They are consumed with this new role, and work hard to be good at it. There is a love and pride that exists for them now that shows so plainly in their lives that it hurts to look at -- a depth of love that is heart-stopping and stunning. This birthday is a celebration of them as parents, of Harrison, their son. This birthday is a celebration of 17 hours of labor. Scars and stretch marks that mark Sarah's body. It is a celebration of hours with the breast pump, changing diapers, reading stories, naptime. It is a celebration of successful neurosurgery, eating solid food, crawling. It is a celebration of the infinite ways Sarah and Doug's love for each other has changed because of loving Harrison. It is a celebration of family, of grandmothers and grandfathers, aunties, cousins. It's a celebration of the way Harrison has changed each and every one of us.

I love you, Harrison. Thank you for everything you've given us. Happy Birthday.