I'm not just married, I'm gay married!

I knew this would happen, I just thought it wouldn't happen where and when it did. You may think I'm being naive when I tell you this story, but seriously, I came out to a Texan. A Texan, and it was smoother with her than this was! Have you been to Texas? Do you know where Texas is? Well, it ain't a blue state. But Massachusetts sure is! You know, MaSsAcHuSeTts?! The political flip-flop state? Where people cannot only get married, but can get GAY married?!

I rock TANDAL so don't get into a debate with me about using gay as an adjective to describe married. GAY MARRIED. Don't buy the rhetoric that tells you it's the same as traditional marriage. It's GAY marriage.

Now that I'm done bossing you around, let me tell you what happened.

While I make it a rule to not talk about work in my blog, the story happened at work and being in the space where I work is crucial to the story, so here goes. I work in a very affirming place in a very affirming town, and since I am the only lesbian of color in the building, I get a lot of press. You know, people want to embrace me and shit because I add credible diversity to their stories about the kind of liberals and stange-folk whom they call friend. When T and I got married...aheam, excuse me...gay married, our wedding announcement from the paper made its way onto four different bulletin boards in my office. FOUR. And I was only responsible for putting up one of them. So, my gay-ass wedding announcement, with a picture of me and my beautiful wife, wearing the same halo of roses and white and all that, begins with:

VNH and TAL of Northampton were married July 25 at Childs Park in Northampton. The Rev. Dr. AA officiated the 11 am ceremony.

Pretty clear, right?

This afternoon I went downstairs to grab a yogurt and refill my Nalgene at the water cooler, and I ran into one of my coworkers. We chit-chatted a little, and then she said, "Oh! I just saw your wedding announcement upstairs! So, you were, I mean, I guess..." So I waited, and let her finish swallowing her own tongue and just let her work it out. You see, having grown up a mixed-race gal has taught me that often people don't know how to ask what they want to ask because they are uncomfortable, so sometimes you just need to give them a little time to work it out. That, or they continue to fumble with themselves in such an embarassing way that at some point you begin to get offended and pissed and annoyed that they didn't think about the uncomfortable thing they had to say before they had to say it or think about the observation they wanted to make before they opened their mouths and could articulate what they were thinking because you're reality is so crazy and perverse and strange that they can't keep subjects and verbs in agreement. That, and frankly, you are trying to boggle them with your queerness. Thanks for that, T.

She means no harm by anything she's saying, so, I wait, patiently, while she sorts out her tongue from her throat and her teeth, and hope that she can come up with some simple question or observation that can save her from this deep, dark lavender pit she's sinking into, and she continues, "Well, I couldn't...did you...I was confused because...did you get married with another person?"

Blink. Blink blink. No, I married myself, I'm thinking.

"Huh?"

"Did you get married with another person, because there is another person in the picture in the announcement so I thought you got married with another person, like..."

"Like a joint wedding?"

"Yeah, and I thought, how cool!"

"Yeah, cool. No, the person in the picture with me is the person who I married. She's my partner."

Nevermind the fact that nowhere in the announcement is there scarcely a mention of a groom (or grooms!), or very many male pronouns, for that matter. Forget the fact that some of the text refers to us as The Brides, plural. Hell, even forget that the announcement says, "After the ceremony, the couple honeymooned in Newfane, VT." I can forgive all of that. What I can't forgive is that you think I have the distaste of having a double wedding. I know my gay brothers have a reputation for being a little flamboyant, but jeez, even we're not that tacky!