OH. MY. GOD.

The three craziest things I've ever seen on TV I saw this week.

First, let's discuss the season finale for CSI, directed by Quentin Tarantino. Holy shite. That man likes to bury people alive! Kudos to Nick for portraying what it actually must be like to be buried alive. Pure panic and dillusion. Imagine, for those of you who did not see it, a glass box 4 feet below the surface. In that box there exists the following: you, a pile of glow sticks, and a gun. For HOURS, a light at the end of the glass coffin goes on and off. On. Off. On. Off. Every time the light goes on, the fans that bring in air stop, but your friends who are watching you via the light don't know that, and you don't know they are watching. In fact, they think the light is helping, while really each time the press the button it is slowly suffocating you. Oh, and underneath the box is enough C4 to blow you and your closest friends to bits. And then the Fire Ants came.

Second, let's talk about Rob and Amber Get Married. Oh wait, just kidding. The season finale of Alias was grrreat! The episode itself was fine, most things got resolved, etc...but the final 8 seconds literally made me gasp and scream. I don't want to be a spoiler, but that show really does not disappoint.

And finally, finally I bring you into the manic world of the lethal combination of Oprah Winfrey and Tom Cruise. Normally I can't really stand Oprah and I guess I don't really have any feelings about Tom Cruise (except that age really agrees with him), but this was the most manic interview/interviewee relationship I've ever seen. I think he constructed about four coherent sentences, jumped on the couch at least five times, pounded the floor repeatedly, then acted like a monkey for the rest of the time. All of this culminated in Mr. Cruise going into the greenroom and literally dragging Katie Holmes out to the sound stage while holding her arms in Cops-bad-guy position. She was laughing, but I don't think she thought it was all that funny. Tara and I kept looking at each other like, "What the hell is happening?!!?"

Now if we could just figure out how to get Tom Cruise into that glass coffin scenario, we'd be all set.